Over the last few years I’ve been on a journey of healing, and although I’m getting to a place that I want to be mentally, the process hasn't been without its difficulties.
No one really tells you how hard healing can be, how it can push you to places you never thought you’d end up, and how it can change you as a person.
Past Traumas
Emotional healing doesn’t always have to be about large traumas in life - I actually think that we heal everyday from even the tiniest things that we have experienced, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier. Healing is all about coming to terms with the past, learning to rewire our brain and thinking patterns, and mending that little part of us that feels an emotion that we no longer want to feel.
I think we often overlook how traumatic experiences can be and how they can affect us in our daily lives. Some of the work I’ve had to do stems from small comments that were made long ago, which to others might be brushed off, but to me they dug deep. Everyone processes and experiences life differently - which also means that these events can impact us differently.
Healing is not about removing our past experiences, it’s about accepting it and appreciating that it will always be part of our story, but that we can move past it.
Painful Processes
Learning to understand our brain and thought patterns is a key to healing, but it takes time. I’ve been on this journey for years, and I’m sure that as I get older there may be more that I want to work through. Through healing, we encounter things we don’t want to bring up from the past. The hardest part of healing is that it makes us re-evaluate our current life too.
I think a hard part is the time aspect too. I always thought that healing would be easy - get to the root of the problem, tell myself to ‘get a grip’ and be done with it. But in reality that’s not it at all. Healing takes a long time, it takes brain space to process. Although healing can start with some ‘easy wins’ (I use the word ‘easy’ loosely) - such as writing letters to our past self, smashing plates, talking with loved ones. But one of the hardest things is that healing takes place every day - throughout life. As we’re washing the dishes or going to work, we might not even realise it but subconsciously our brain is working and processing and helping us figure things out. I expected one day to just wake up and be a new person, or the old me, but in reality it's a long process. It’s only once we look back on things and reflect that we realise how far we've come.
Prioritising Rest
Healing is hard and it makes rest even more important. Our brains are working hard on navigating this new process and life, and it's easy to beat ourselves up about it.
It’s a lifelong journey and I think it will get easier as I go. So if you are in the same position, please know you’re not alone.